#5 Parlor Pizza, West Loop, IL

One of the best new restaurants/bars in the West Loop in 2015, primarily known for being a pizza/sports/sit outside/admire the skyline bars, also offers a unique nacho dish. I knew of Parlor Pizza from my days as a young stud trekking around downtown just a year ago and I remember my initial reaction being, "Oh great; another ho hum trendy bar in the trendy neighborhood with second rate food and an ambiance rivaling that of the other 100000 trendy bars in Chicago. I know, I know, it was a premature rush to judgment and I was a bit skeptical of the joint to begin with, but my skepticism was put to rest when I tried their nacho dish this past Sunday. Without further adieu, here is the #5 seed in the West Loop/West Town Region, Parlor Pizza's Nacho Bites.

Presentation- 4

As you can see from the picture, the presentation here was tremendous-- the lettuce and tomato centerpiece, the nacho bites organized ever so creatively and proportionately around the dish, the overall "evenness" of the dish was a sight to behold. A 5 is a hard score to achieve, but this dish came damn close in terms of presentation.

Dish- 2

While the presentation was nothing short of great, the actual dish left much to be desired. A basic dish? These nachos deserved more from their serving dish.

Spread- 3

As mentioned in the presentation section, the organization and display of the dish weren't lacking in any way. However, there was a good deal of open space on the dish for more, but there were no more nachos to fill the space. None more nachos for the space.

Temperature- 3

They weren't hot but also not cold. Do I think they could have been hotter? Of course, but the temp didn't take away from the quality of the dish and the experience.

Volume- 2

My roommate accompanied me on this review and we both agreed that there could be a lot more to this dish. So much so that we had to order two dishes in order to feel satisfied. There is an expectation that, despite being classified as an appetizer dish, a nacho dish should have enough to feed many and leave them all fairly full. This was not enough to make two people feel fairly full, hence the low rating.

Average Bite Size- 3

Each chip with condiments on it could fit into my mouth, but my roommate struggled a bit, two-biting each chip. In other words, depending on how big your mouth is, you can either fit an entire chip from this dish in your mouth or not.

Ingredients:

Chips- 3

Standard tortilla chip; crispy, not soggy, held toppings without breaking apart.

Cheese- 3

Shredded, melted on top of the chips; just the right amount of cheese on all the chips.

Meat- 3

BBQ pork was delicious and it was just enough on each chip to not be overwhelming and still be tasty. However, it wasn't THAT tasty to merit anything above a 3-- the flavor was there, but it was just enough to say to yourself, "OH yeah! Meat!" and then have the taste fade away quickly.

Veggies- 2

While the veggies propped up the presentation score big time, it left the veggies score lacking due to a lack of them on top of the nachos. It also took more effort than it should (not a lot of effort, but more than just scooping) to get the veggies onto the chips. There's definitely room for improvement here.

Extras- 5

Mini chunks of avocado and a chipotle cream drizzled over all of the nachos put this score into the stratosphere. Both really added an entirely new level of flavor to the dish. Level 1 was the nacho, meat and cheese. Level 2 was the cream and the avocado. #levels

Chip-to-condiment ratio- 3

Despite each chip being consumed along with the majority of the toppings in one bite, the leftover lettuce and tomatos push this score back down to earth. Need to have an empty dish at the end of the day.

Bang-for-buck- 3

At $10, this dish is definitely one of the best nacho dishes at that price. However, it is truly an appetizer for just 2 people and is not something that can necessarily be shared among a larger group of people.

Overall Nacho Score- 39

I was definitely surprised in many ways by this dish and recommend that everyone go give it a try. However, buyer be warned that for parties of more than two people, you will likely need more than one nacho dish in order to be sufficiently appetized.

#3 Sheffield's Beer and Wine Garden, Lakeview, IL

It was only fitting that the first official review was at the bar where this idea all started, Sheffield's Beer and Wine Garden. I rallied up a dear friend to accompany me on the first review and below are the results. 

Presentation- 4 

The nachos were not directly on the dish, but on top of a checkered plastic sheet that was fitting for the BBQ style nachos we opted for and it makes cleanup 1000 times easier. Few things are worse than scraping burned cheese and condiments off of a platter.

Dish- 3 

They used a round silver serving dish/platter thing that held the thick layered nachos in well; nothing special but not terrible.

Spread- 4 

Nachos and condiments filled the plate to the brim and the plate held them in. Condiments were evenly dispersed and no chip was left without toppings on it.

Temperature- 3

Not scorching hot but could have been a little warmer; didn't affect the overall eating experience.

Volume- 4

Just enough to fill up two hungry people, both of whom are former swimmers, akin to eating lots of food.

Average Bite Size- 3

Some bites were too big and others too small; just about what you'd expect. Could only be better if every bite fit perfectly in your mouth.

Ingredients:

Chips- 5 

Blew my mind. They used to use the standard tortilla chips, but have switched to using BBQ dry-rubbed crispy potato chips. Added next-level flavor, held all toppings without breaking apart and showed no signs of getting soggy as the meal went on.

Cheese- 3

It could have only been better had shredded cheese been added; cheese was melted in a queso way but it wasn't super spicy like queso or super bland like the cheese from sporting venues; it was just right.

Meat- 3

The fact that the meat was brisket propped this score up a bit; the volume of meat left much to be desired, but the pieces on it were full of flavor. Pulled pork and pulled chicken were other options.

Veggies- 2

Loaded up on the Jalepenos which is good if that's your game. However, when they're all over and the tomatoes and olives are lacking, the score dips.

Extras- 4

You can see the Guac right on top and it tastes just as good as it looks. Despite being whalloped on top-center, there was plenty of Guac to be had right up until the end. BBQ sauce was all over which was a great touch; lack of salsa dips keeps it from being a 5.

Chip-to-condiment ratio- 3

Roughly about even considering the only condiments left were jalepenos. Did have to use a fork to finish the last few bites, which isn't terrible but keeps this score from being a 4

Bang-for-buck- 4

At $12 for the brisket nachos pictured that fills you and a friend up to the brim, this might turn out to be one of the best values in the city, as it won't break the bank getting a high quality nacho dish.

Overall Nacho Score: 45

Still one of my favorite dishes in the city; they might win the whole damn bracket. If you have yet to check out the bar, come with an empty stomach, get a Three Floyds, and ask for the brisket nachos. Then thank me later.

Pre-season review: Little Ricky's, Winnetka, IL

Before diving in head-first to the bracket to review the competitors, I felt it would be best to do a "pre-season" review of a non-competitor that isn't in the bracket. This review also gave me a chance to test the metrics and see how the process of reviewing would shake out in reality. If there's one thing that is universally true, it's that things shake out differently in reality versus in your head. 

The nacho dish will be rated on a 1-5 scale of overall quality (2-3 is plainly average) in 13 different areas. The scores will then be added up at the end to produce an overall score for the dish. Without further adieu, let's dive in. 

Presentation: 3 Nothing special here-- nachos served on a large tray with an undertray as well. This came in handy later on in the meal when items began to get dispersed off the original tray Serving 

Dish: 3 The dual-serving item was a nice touch; the bottom tray was made of wood which made the whole thing look better than the other appetizers, meaning the restaurant definitely sees their nachos as being a more premium dish. 

Spread: 3 

Condiments and chips were evenly dispersed throughout the tray; there was little to no room outside the spread for extras (although extras were served)

Temperature: 1 

This put a damper on the entire experience-- The nachos were not cold but they were warm enough that the temperature was the first thing we noticed. It was like a cup of coffee that needs to be warmed up but still could get a lot worse if not warmed up.

Volume: 3 

Just enough nachos and toppings for 3 people.

Average Bite Size: 3 

A chip with ingredients on top fit comfortably into your mouth. Nothing crazy to report here. 

Ingredients-

Chips: 2 

A little flaky; not the best structure but still held ingredients well from plate to mouth; cold temperature didn't do the chips any favors.

Cheese: 2 

Standard shredded cheeses; melted all the way through onto the top; cold temperature thing here too.

Meat: 3

4 different choices for type of meat brings this score up a notch from the rest of the ingredient scores (bbq pulled pork, grilled chicken, ground beef or skirt steak); we opted for the bbq pulled pork which was tasty, but once again, cold.

Veggies: 2 

Not much to report here-- cold and there was a lack of jalepenos versus a plethora of small olives, which should be opposite in any good nachos dish.

Extras: 3 

Guac, salsa, and sour cream all on the side in small dippable dishes; each side checked out as a solid 3 and would be higher with more volume of each. 

Chip-to-Condiment Ratio: 1 Ratio sided the way of the ingredients at just under 2-1, but what affected this score was the ingredients leftover... small olives and jalepeno seeds. If there are ingredients are leftover when chips are all gone, then those ingredients should be eatable with forks and be desirable items. These olives? Not so much.

Bang-for-buck: 2 

The bang was lacking temperature-wise, but volume was filling and it was under $15 for the dish. Not particularly cheap but there are definitely pricier options. This is a middle-market nacho dish that fits between your bargain quality nachos and your blue chip nachos.

Overall nacho score: 31 

Definitely not a terrible dish by any stretch of the imagination, but the dish left much to be desired. The temperature was a buzz killer if large proportions, but the volume, spread, and types of ingredients included give the dish hope for the future.

The Bracket

Metrics

As with any form of reviewing, it is necessary to provide transparency into the methodology and metrics by which the ratings are derived. With the help of some trusted colleagues, I've designed the following system by which the nacho dishes will be reviewed:

1. Ratings will be on a 1-5 scale, with 1 indicating 'Horrible' and 5 indicating 'Magnificent'
2. Nacho dishes will be rated in 8 categories:
• Ingredient Quality
• Cheeses
• Meats
• Veggies
• Chips
• Extras
• Creativity
• Serving Dish
• Spread
• Presentation
• Bang-for-buck
• Temperature
• Average bite size
• Volume
• Chip-to-condiment ratio
3. Each rating will come with a brief description to provide further explanation behind the rating

About this blog

Like any rational person, I'm a huge fan of nachos. As a mid-twenty-something, I'm bound by law to be a huge fan of bars and drinking establishments. In three-plus years of living in Chicago, I've noticed quite a few things, such as people here will always find any excuse to drink, the city finds the most inopportune times to do road construction, and getting anywhere typically takes a half hour even if your destination is right around the corner.

Among the things I've noticed is the phenomenon of bar nachos. Almost any bar, restaurant, or eating establishment has some form of nacho dish that is somewhere between grandiose and unexceptional. The nacho dish is one of the few constants across bars and restaurants of Chicago, the comparative benchmark on which one bar can be compared to another and all the others.

On the Blackhawk's Stanley Cup run last year, I visited many establishments taking in game after game, most of which involved lots of beer and nachos. Along this run the idea of creating a ratings system of nachos occurred to me and from this spark, the flame of this venture began to rage.

Follow along starting January 2016 as I tour the city, pinning nacho vs. nacho, restaurant vs. bar, bar vs. restaurant, neighborhood vs. neighborhood in the ultimate review of nacho dishes the Windy City has ever seen!